Couple having an argument in the lawyer's office

Reducing Stress and Uncertainty in a Divorce

Divorces can be both emotionally and legally complicated. A couple can reduce related stress and unnecessary delays and costs by exploring alternatives, keeping their children out of fights, and being clear about what they need from the other.

Alternatives to Litigation

There are options other than settling a divorce in court. For instance, couples can work with a neutral mediator to settle issues of property division and spousal support. Couples should still have their own divorce attorney to assist them and provide guidance during mediation proceedings. Settling divorce through mediation also allows couples to save in legal fees and therapy bills.

Couples can choose to engage in collaborative law. This is a problem-solving process that may require the involvement of trained attorneys, divorce coaches, and child specialists. Divorce proceedings are smoother without the involvement of the court.

Keep Feelings Out of Court

While emotion is always a part of family law, couples should not engage in divorce proceedings with the sole focus of getting revenge on the other spouse. Some spouses go so far as to hire a private investigator and to present detailed evidence that their spouse was cheating in order to humiliate them and gain sympathy from the judge. However, courts are disinterested in private matters and may consider details irrelevant and unimportant.

Getting worked up and involving high levels of emotion into proceedings can add to the stress of a divorce. As such, if a divorce proceeding ends up in court, both spouses should try and leave emotion on and focus only on the relevant details.

Leave Kids Out of Divorce Proceedings

Divorce related court decisions will affect children. However, their involvement should be as limited as possible. Children will be affected by the negativity of constant fighting and talk of divorce. Parents should keep in mind divorce is a problem between the couple and is not something their children should be involved in or largely concerned about.

Despite this, both spouses should continue to take their children into consideration during a divorce proceeding. Decisions made in or out of court regarding living arrangements should be beneficial and rewarding for children. Child custody and support determinations, for instance, should be in their best interests.

Be Clear on Wants and Needs

Couple settling divorce papers

Each spouse should have a clear picture of what they want out of the divorce. Being prepared allows them to remain on course when they are negotiating with the other spouse. This can reduce stress and uncertainty during divorce proceedings.

Ideally, divorcing couples should manage open communication between each other. They should at least agree on major issues of separation and have similar ideas on property division, child custody, and alimony.

Financial Literacy

Both spouses should organize their financial records and track their assets and liabilities. Uncertainty about financial matters can lead to anger, tension, and aggression. Each spouse should equip themselves with adequate financial knowledge so they can join in related conversations without feeling cheated or a lack of control. They may also benefit from the services of a financial advisor.

Divorce can be a smoother and less stressful process if both parties can follow an arrangement beneficial for everyone involved.